Vulnerability: Good for business?

Published: Fri 20 Jan, 2012 2:06:43

Growing up in the North of England vulnerability wasn’t something that was talked about, let alone demonstrated.  In fact at school I am not sure I even knew the word. Showing you were vulnerable was considered a sign of weakness. Are you kidding? To do that you would be teased mirthlessly, so you never admitted a weakness and that was that.

It wasn’t until I had left home and had been working for a few years that I started to feel that this approach wasn’t quite right.  I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with superficial connections I made through work.  It was tiring having conversations with people who were continually trying to impress upon me their knowledge, their credentials, their success. The conversations were shallow, and if I’m honest, they brought out the worst in me. I turned them into a competition where the aim was always to come up with a bigger, better, story and although I often won the ‘conversational sparring match,’ the aftermath left me feeling hollow inside.

There had to be a better way.

Whilst I was questioning my conversation strategy I was fortunate to have a change in management.  My new boss was smart, vibrant and vulnerable.  She was brilliant at her job, brought energy and enthusiasm to the office whilst being comfortable admitting the areas she struggled with. She even recognized her style of dress was a ‘work in progress’.  Exercise, as far as she was concerned, despite being overweight, just wouldn’t happen because, as she said, she had no co-ordination.

I really liked her.

I started to open up more, I was more honest, more real and then an interesting thing happened. Those I was in conversation with didn’t tease. Instead they stopped, they listened, they empathized, and they shared of themselves.  No longer was the conversation a competition, it became a wonderful opportunity to learn more about each other and connect at a deeper level.

In the last ten years I have coached hundreds of people, many within the finance sector, helping them connect more with those around them. Without a doubt vulnerability, communicating in a genuine way, has been a message that I have needed to share over and over again.

Lets be clear, being vulnerable doesn’t mean you have to reveal your deepest darkest secrets.  What it does mean is to be more open, go beyond social conversation about the golf/cricket or even worse – the weather. Stop hiding behind the numbers, your job title or the façade of who you think you should be.  Allow others to see who you really are, a wonderful genuine human being, someone who people will want to connect to.

Business today is highly competitive and we often hear that the way to stay ahead is to innovate, to develop creative solutions to differentiate ourselves from the pack.  But here’s the rub, how do we achieve this in a culture where it is not done to experiment, try new things, fail, expose your weakness, to admit you just don’t know?

Successful companies of the future will understand that they need to create a safe culture that allows people to make mistakes so that they can explore whole new ways of operating.  In essence companies of the future will nurture and encourage vulnerability.

Vulnerability is good for business.